Becoming whole in the void
Updated: Mar 4, 2022
It’s time to get into some grit. I am as flawed as anyone else out there. That’s the beauty of being human. We’re born in pure alignment with spirit only to spend the rest of our lives finding our way back to ourselves – our true form – being led from within. It’s a wild ride and sometimes I’m even scared of my own wildness.
I can then get scared of the rawness of my emotions when things get tough and my emotions become turbulent. I am in no way perfect. But I am willing… and it’s this willingness that allows me to share, guide and listen to my own inner-being. Because my intention is that when I reach the end, I will hold myself with tender love and grace.
But I do wonder… Can we really be whole? When life can feel like an obstacle course in a maze? Even if we find our purpose and meaning – will there still be a gaping hole that sucks us in? The very hole that we may skirt around with lovers, or jumping from one creative project to the next, or buying those damn gorgeous shoes… and that baked cheesecake with the ice-cream… and the glitter pen that I’ll probably never use. Black holes are a key part of the cosmos and so are the many voids in my soul. So, I’m not so sure voids are meant to be avoided. Diving into a black hole takes you into a whole new dimension. So, what happens when we allow ourselves to dive into our voids? Consciously! What energy is waiting beneath the density and what journey awaits us from within?
“So, I’m not so sure voids are meant to be avoided”
With meditation and healing, we hear a lot about “being”. “Doing” as opposed to “being” can be healthy too. Sure, there is magic in “doing” – it manifests things! But there’s also a trap in “doing” when we haven’t allowed ourselves to move from a space of receptivity and we may become unconscious in our actions. We can also come to feel overwhelmed, stuck, stressed, burnt out, impulsive and depressed because we haven’t taken the time to connect with ourselves in the “doing”. So then, when does “doing” become “being”? If you are more curious about this then listen to my latest meditation Moving in Alignment here.
My friend asked me yesterday,” Do you ever avoid yourself? Do you ever bury something on purpose?” … and I said, “No, it’s too much work for me. It requires too much energy to avoid myself and it eats at me… So I can’t do it.” But that answer was the easy way out. Trust me, whenever someone says they’ve “done the work”, there’s usually a very good strategy in place that’s keeping them from actually seeing what the “work” is – because the work is never completely done. I don’t mean to stir feelings of dissatisfaction or attempt to groom a cult of process junkies. I am simply saying that lessons usually return in different ways so that we can meet ourselves stronger and at deeper levels. We are constantly evolving in this mirror called life.
I tend to avoid myself, or may I say, run past myself, when I decide that I am far too busy to do my practice of yoga, meditation and mantras. I allow my resistance to take over and it makes me freeze. I avoid giving myself those crucial 5, 10 or 15minutes that will literally change my whole life. I am a person who tends to overthink things and feels like time is moving against me. Even this article, I went into freeze trying to decide what I was going to write. But the secret ingredient was to JUST DO IT! It was the only way I was going to break past myself. TO LEAP and let life lead.
Whether it's leaving your job, starting an art club, singing to an audience or buying that ticket for a once in a lifetime adventure, if you have already made that decision – then it’s just a matter of time for it to happen – and if it never happens, then you’ll never feel quite right… and the discomfort of this can cause you to dig a deep hole to avoid yourself – because there is a belief that you can’t have what you really want. Listen to my Kundalini Diamond Heart Meditation to get access your deeper truth.
The trick is to come back into alignment with yourself by listening to yourself and doing what you need to do in the moment as you become aware of it. To become free of getting in our own way we need to first give ourselves permission to “just be.” To access the “child-mind.” To allow ourselves to be ourselves and get a sense of what that feels like. When we are in alignment with our intuition and instinctual flow, action becomes a kind of medicine – and then we move into doing from a space of being. Life is made from movement. When we stagnate, we tend to suffer because something inside is being neglected when all we need to do is give it space to breathe.
To become free of getting in our own way we need to first give ourselves permission to “just be"
I tend to freeze when I feel overwhelmed by something. I can sit for ages in my anxiety and perfectionism. It usually plays out with me feeling like I don’t have enough time – and so I waste time avoiding it. There is a slave driver inside me that I am so scared of I restrict it by going into freeze. I feel like the world will end if I take 5 minutes for myself. But I also know I will feel so much better if I give myself time rather than feeling like it's being taken from me. So, I identify where I am absent in my own life and I give my power back to myself. The question also arises: ‘Why do I stay hidden to stay safe?’ Clearly, this is an invitation for inner-child work, and I can go deeper into making space for myself, as I can and do in my work for others.
Taking those 5 minutes every day to create space for yourself can eventually turn into 10minutes – that can turn into hours - into years - and suddenly you will be living your dreams in your daily life. To allow yourself to “just be” by “just doing” will help you to build peace, confidence, clarity and creativity. So go for that run! Speak your truth! Initiate that date! Take a leap of faith. Throw yourself into that 5minutes! Make your dreams a reality. There doesn’t need to be a drama to initiate drastic change. You don’t have to suffer in silence… Here are 5 steps you can take to help you to let life lead:
♥ Take 5 minutes every day to do the thing that you really want to do.
♥ When you feel yourself resist – LEAP!
♥ Check in with yourself and be grounded in the experience.
♥ Allow yourself to make mistakes.
♥ Ask for help from the people around you who are living their dreams.
If you would like to experience one of my offerings in person, you can come to my next Holotropic Breathwork, Yoga Nidra, Vision Quest Sound Journey on the 16th of March. I am collaborating with Rooftop Retreats and will be guiding an hour-long Soul Journey for you to experience and embody your true self. Buy your tickets here.
I am also there for you if you wish me to support you with Inner-Child work and going deeper into making space for yourself and so, realize your dreams. You’re worth it! Contact me for an Intuitive Guide discovery call here by email firstname.lastname@example.org or my Clare.Hope Instagram Page.